Tumblr Animal Posts Of Hilarity And Stories That Are Weird AF

Ugh, waking up this Sunday morning feels like a whole task, yo. Last week was crazy. We truly do need the rest. And not only that, but we need a distraction - something funny enough and weird enough to make all of our thoughts turn away from the news and toward lighter things. Hey, it's a good thing you're here then, because we've got just the thing. What can possibly be funnier and weirder than a whole new collection of animal funnies - tumblr style.

Week by week, we do the hard work for you guys. We scour through the depths of tumblr in search for the funniest animal posts of the week. Because let's be real- tumblr is a mess, but it's still friggin' funny and worth it. Enjoy this collection of animal tumblr ridiculousness, everyone, and see you here next week for more. 

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky Mariel Ruvinsky
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  • 01
    Natural landscape - heedra When I totaled my car last spring, it was by plowing straight thru a fence into a cow pasture on my way to a job interview, and the one thing that saved me from being utterly consumed by despair was the fact that the cows were utterly bonkers with curiosity about the weird object that was suddenly in their field, and they completely SWARMED me and my car with good-natured excitement. They ate my lunch (and my cars bill of sale documents), they used the wrecked husk of
    via heedra

    This is the kind of story that we get on tumblr for. Okay? People judge us sometimes for still being on that platform, but where else could we possibly get such an insane story with so many absolutely ridiculous twists and turns. Twitter? Heck nah. Not like this. Tumblr is special, and we stand by that.

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  • 02
    Font - Singtel StarHub VOLTE beholdingslut Follow 29% Feeling only slight pain, Schmidt has described the sting of an urban digger bee, categorized into Pain Level 1, as "almost pleasant, a lover just bit your earlobe a little too hard."[³] Also rated into Pain Level 1, Schmidt has described the sting of a sweat bee as "light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm."[3] 14:57 this from the guy who wrote the sting pain index, a scale he constructed after letti
    via beholdingslut

    We else would we possibly learn about Schmidt and his categorization of the stings of different insects? Nowhere. Until some other platform gets to the point of being this unique… well, y'all can certainly count on this weekly listicle to continue. 

  • 03
    Glasses - memeblock.com misstransatlantic: "well that's just, like, your opinion, man."
    via misstransatlantic
  • 04
    Font - lockpickearrings lets say, hypothetically, im a cat. a kitty cat. and for the sake of debate, lets say i dance dance dance. Source: lockpickearrings 25 964 notes
    via lockpickearrings
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  • 05
    Nature - Lions pretend to be hurt by the bites of their young to encourage them. thefemalefury: Lion: AGGGGGGGHHHHH YOU HAVE VANQUISHED ME, MIGHTY BEAST Cub: DAD STOP Lion: EVERYTHING...GOING...DARK Cub: DAD OH MY GOD Lion: REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE...
    via thefemalefury
  • 06
    Jaw - dimetrodone Follow African elephant calves vs Asian elephant calves inkysparrow Follow Very Accurate
    via dimetrodone
  • 07
    Font - speakingintongues1983mp3dow... Follow i love when a cat meows at you and you're like "yeah tell me about it" and they're like "meaarow" and you're like "that's crazy man" and they go "rrraow" and you both continue in that manner for quite some time or until the cat decides to bite you #ME YESTERDAY WITH MY FRIEND'S CAT AJFNSNNT #cat #animals OO 58,940 notes D 3
    via speakingintongues1983mp3download
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  • 08
    Font - S whoa I just realized it's called deodorant because it de-odors you like it takes away your odor and you're an ant rnotha-fucka are you sure about the ant part
    via S
  • 09
    Font - People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven... what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment? siketreeker Dog heaven is also squirrel hell it's a very efficient system. ubercharge i can't stop í king laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone sapphireswimming They know that the bird feeder isn't meant for them
    via siketreeker
  • 10
    Rectangle - phsfg The weirdest thing I've learned while working for pest control is that snails love rat poison and will actively eat it but hate seseme seeds phsfg I should add that rat poison has NO effect on snails, and they just get super fat cause they gourge themselves in boxes of rat poison hexpress absolute units pantheris Of course then they go and get eaten by birds/raccoons/whatever and deliver like ten times the lethal dose of rat poison to whatever's eating them and kill it horribly
    via phsfg
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  • 11
    Green - jonny-versace Follow Not a mufasa origin story Empire Magazine → @empiremagazine "This is a story about how Mufasa rose to royalty. He was born an orphaned cub, and in this film we get to explore his journey into the circle of life," says Jenkins #D23Expo EMPIRE Disney MUFASA THE LION KING 0:21 10 Sep 22 Twitter for iPhone 18 Retweets 33 Quote Tweets 99 Likes beemovieerotica Follow hoths inrainbowscd #how the fuck was mufasa born an orphaned cub his parents are ahadi and uru do u think i
    via jonny-versace
  • 12
    Rectangle - People liking turtles better than cops will be pleased to learn a tur- tle bit off a cop's toe in the Hud- son River. giraffodil: yesterdaysprint: The Daily Times, New Philadelphia, Ohio, July 9, 1924 This is like the opposite of clickbait. The whole story is there. Behold it.
    via yesterdaysprint
  • 13
    Font - curseworm human brain: sometimes we need to do boring things with no gratification or immediate benefit monkey brain: absolutely not. die lemonsharks Human brain: ok what if we eat chips while we do the boring thing monkey brain: I'm suspicious but keep talking
    via curseworm

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